One more fucking time...
31 May 2015
In late January the results from Facebook's performance reviews for the latter half of 2014 were ready, and my verdict was that I don't meet all expectations. This was for the second time, so I was dismissed, and for visa reasons I had about one month to organise my relocation back to Bulgaria.
In my attempt to do a diploma thesis and a full-time job simultaneously, I failed at both — lost the job and haven't finished the thesis yet.
For a few months now I've been trying to get back on track, but I can hardly find the strength to do anything useful. I spent a lot of time in aimless walking or browsing around, and thought a lot about myself. I started very well at university, keeping pace with the hard plan of the regular study time, which is 9 semesters, and the average is 12. I'm in my 18th now. At school and initially at the university I did programming contests; started very well, but ended up not achieving anything particularly impressive. I had the perfect job, but lost it. Is there anythingI've started that I've pulled through to the end?
In the meantime I was getting increasingly angry at myself and my inadequacy. Now all I have to do is to channel this anger in a positive direction and pull myself out of the abyss I've fallen into.