Tears of a Clown

25 September 2016

A few months ago I was sitting on a certain bench in front of the National Palace of Culture in Sofia, drinking vodka (my feel-bad drink), and listening to Tears of a Clown. These words sent a chill down my spine:

Maybe it's all just for the best
Lay his weary head to rest

I was very far from the thought of suicide, yet I had to admit I'd tried many times in many ways to get out of my years-long depression, but nothing had worked. So... maybe...

Tonight I went there with some whiskey (my feel-good drink) and listened to the same song. It got me a big smile, as I visualised all the band members playing it before me — something I'd seen eighteen times this summer. It turns out I've finally found the key. I made one of my dreams come true; one that is too brave a dream for some. I never knew Robin Williams, to me, Tears of a Clown will always be a song about me, about what could have been but isn't.

Needless to say this is only the beginning! Out of the shadows and into the light!